It was somewhere in mid of 2019. We decided to try for another child. We had a daughter 5 years old, born out of somewhat difficult pregnancy. Prior to that my wife had two missed abortions around 7 weeks into pregnancy. When my daughter was 2 years old, we had to medically terminate a pregnancy into 6 weeks because of an early bad medical report (my wife was B-ive and I was B+ive). It was just not possible to do followup tests with that young daughter in tow. So we simply followed what doctor advised us.
So coming back, this time we decided that we will plan everything out and do all the possible tests and if doctor’s say everything is OK then only we will proceed with planning for second child. The tests were all OK, however due to her age her fertility was low and doctor recommended some medicinal course. However we decided that if it happens naturally it happens, otherwise we are happy with our single child.
Months passed by and then suddenly in January 2020, we got the good news. We knew we had to plan everything properly and not take slightest of the risk. We religiously followed the doctor’s program. Except for initial months of extreme morning sickness, which doctor said was a good thing, this pregnancy was going so smoothly. Her every ultrasound and tests came back just perfect. We were so happy, this pregnancy was going much smoother than the last one.
Then the corona virus pandemic struck. Entire country came under lock-down. We stayed in a metropolis with no immediate family members around and with workers going back to their native places, we were just not able to find any full time help. She was so against part time help, because she was afraid that if caregiver catches infection when she is outside, it will risk her and the baby’s life. So we decided to shift her to her mother’s place, where there was also help of extended family members.
We finalized a doctor in that city and decided that it would be safest to do the delivery in a small maternity hospital as all big hospitals had turned into “covid hospitals”. So after finalizing the hospital, I came back to our place to carry on with my work, leaving her and my elder daughter at her mother’s place.
Then suddenly just 3 weeks before her delivery date, I got a call that she had caught dengue fever with a very high temperature. Due to pandemic situation, I was able to catch a flight to her place only after couple of days. By that time she was admitted to the same maternity hospital. Her condition appeared stable for first 4 days, however on 5th day it suddenly worsened. She was recommended to a bigger hospital, but as all big hospitals were “covid hospitals” and corona virus situation had suddenly flared country wide, there were no ICU beds available. We got a normal bed, and looking at her situation and spending hours in ambulance outside the hospital, I was just so afraid to try for other hospitals in that city. Further I had no knowledge of hospitals and other doctors, and simply followed her current doctor’s advice.
By that time, she simply stopped responding to different level of treatments doctors where giving and her platelets count just kept on dropping. We were told that the baby has come under severe stress and it would be advisable to bring her out via emergency surgery. The baby girl was born on the sixth day and was placed under oxygen support immediately. For a moment we were kind of relieved that now we can give my wife the best care, which we were not able to due to a baby in her womb. However few hours after surgery my wife went into sudden stress and passed away despite doctors trying to revive her. They told she may have had brain seizure, which lead to multiple organ failure. All this happen so suddenly that we just could not react. My newborn baby girl was discharged from the hospital next day, all healthy (so far).
Now coming to terms with all that has happened and going through the grief process, I am somewhat on the borderline of acceptance that this was all destiny and bargaining like maybe I should not have send her away from me and this would not have happened or should have been more alert post surgery period. However, one thing I feel that we as product of this nature have an innate instinct which ensures the survival of next generation even at the cost of our lives. Her all decisions which were based on keeping her unborn baby as far as possible from corona virus or somehow struggling to hold onto life till her baby was born are all testament to the fact that mothers will go to all lengths to protect her offspring.
My wife was a wonderful person. She was kind, loving and considerate. She was greatly loved among her friends and family. She was doing well career wise. She did not deserve to die. Especially leaving behind two very young daughters and her mother and father. No parent can bear the pain to see their young ones passing before them. She has left an enormous gap in our lives. My wife and me were completely opposites. She was vegetarian, I am non-vegetarian. She loved spicy food, I like bland food. She loved bollywood, I like hollywood. She used to religiously follow all custom and traditions and I don’t follow any. She was social and I am kind of loner. Heck even our blood is considered in-compatible, but we kind of complemented each other in several ways. There were certain aspects of our lives which only she took care of. Now I am struggling to figure all this out.
Life is only getting tougher from here on and the pandemic situation is not making anything better. My older daughter is coming to term with this episode in her own way. She asks for her mother and we show her a star in the sky saying “mama has become angel and gone to god there”. We hear about daily numbers of the current pandemic, however if we take into the collateral damage, like people committing suicide or dying from ailments due to not receiving proper care from our stressed healthcare system, losses are far far greater, and I am not even talking about financial loss people have suffered.
Write a comment ...